Christmas 2010

I haven't written on my blog for a very, very long time.  I'm not sure why.  Either, I haven't found time or lost interest.  Well, I decided to update tonight since one of my two followers has said she misses my blogs!  :)

Well, I'm still working 3 jobs.  I don't bitch about it as much as I used to though.  I have figured out how to control my own schedule and not let the work control me.  Thank God!  I was very stressed out before discovering how to do this.  I also changed from checking to customer service at Hy-Vee.  There is a lot more freedom in CS.  It can be very busy and crazy at times, but overall, good.  I work about 28 - 30 hours at Hy-Vee, 9 hours at GNC and about 10 hours for Kraft Foods.

My husband switched jobs from being a sales rep for Dr. Pepper/7-Up to being a bread truck driver for Sara Lee bread company.  The alarm goes off for him at 2:15 am five days of the week.  I have found myself waking up automatically at that time, even when he doesn't need to get up.  Interrupted sleep isn't good. :(.  Such is life though.  Sara Lee is being bought out by a company called Bimbo and we are just praying that Jeff doesn't lose his new position with the company.  That would be quite devastating to say the least.

Dalton was playing competitive traveling basketball for a team out of Marion, Iowa - 3 hours away, but has quit.  The coaches were not the friendliest people.  They wouldn't even say hello to you at a tournament.  They also didn't want Dalton to shoot 3 pointers.  This is a problem because he is a 3 point shooter.  He is still playing for his school team in 8th grade.

Elle, our junior, didn't go out for basketball.  She is concentrating on her studies, which is paying off.  She is doing excellent in school and has taken college classes.  She has a boyfriend who has been spending a lot of time with us on the weekends.

I was supposed to settle my lawsuit this month, but I decided to go to an orthopaedic doctor to see if I had anything more serious wrong with me than tendonitis.  He just concluded I had tendonitist in my tricept muscle.  I went back to physical therapy and it is now out of my bicept and I am feeling much better.  I should be done with physical therapy for the second time next week.  Then, hopefully, we can get this thing settled and behind us.  Can't believe it's almost been a year since the accident happened.

Today is Christmas Day 2010.  It was a great Christmas.  The kids got clothes mostly and I-Touches.  I'm not sure what that is.  Elle and I also got new Blackberrys.  That was a big surprise!  I was using a really old one that is huge and people can't believe it's a phone at all.  It will be nice when we get them switched over on Monday.  The kids are home for another week or so, until after New Year's.  Jeff and I are planning on going to Des Moines for New Year's Eve night.  Probably hit the casino, my favorite thing to do! 

Well, I hope everyone has had a great Christmas and will have a terrific New Year in 2011!  That is scary to say!  Elle graduates in 2012!\  Where has time gone?

Trying to Believe Again

Growing up my family wasn't too religious.  My father died when I was 6 and I believe my mom "gave up" on God.  I never understood this until recently.  Until my life fell apart too.  If there is a God, then why does he let horrible things happen to us?  Why does he let people get cancer for instance.  If he is always "watching out" for us, then why can't he stop us from making huge mistakes in our lives?  Our we ultimately responsible for our own actions?  People always say, "God has a plan for you", or "this is God's will".  Why would God will some of these horrible things to occur?  I understand through suffering we learn and thrive, but how much do we have to suffer?  How much do we have to endure before enough is enough?  After a while, say a year, of bad this happening, it is natural for a person to stop believing.

Miracles of God.  Are there miracles of God?  Does God make things happen to us?  Then what do you call the bad things?  God's will?  When a young healthy person dies, is this God's will.  I can understand an elderly person passing, but someone young and so alive with so much to live for?  No, I cannot accept this.

Everyone says how powerful prayer is.  How long must we pray before God grants us a miracle?  Does God  always answers our prayers?  Not always.  If you're lucky.  God has granted me a few answers to my prayers, but so many more have remained unanswered.  Why isn't God listening?  Doesn't he always listen?  Isn't he always around us?  Isn't he always watching over us?  I always thought so, but now I'm just not sure.

There has been much injustice in my life of late.  Maybe I deserve it, but where is God?  Why isn't he leading me to what is right?  Where is he leading me?  I am listening, but I can't hear him.  Ok, I haven't been to a church lately, but this is only because I am finding it so hard to believe.  When I look around at church and see people putting up their hands and praising God, I'm thinking, "What do I have to praise him for?"

What am I thankful to God for?  Well, I am thankful for my family.  I am thankful that we have a roof over our heads and food on the table.  But, what about all the bad times?  Where was God then?  I could make a list of all the times God wasn't there.  When evil things happened in my life.

Maybe God isn't always suppose to answer your prayers.  Then why do we pray?  I don't believe that we are always suppose to suffer either.  Is there a balance to this?  For every good thing, a bad thing happens?  Is there any rhyme or reason to God's "miracles"?  He has been there for at least two major events in my life - when my husband had cancer, and when we thought my son had cancer and ended up not having it.  But on the other end I would have a very long list. 

Should I just "learn my lessons" and lick my wounds and get over it?  Is it like forgiving someone for making a mistake.  I should forgive God and believe again?  Being alone and scared is a very dark place to be, especially when you don't think God is with you.  Are there signs that he is with me that I am missing?  Do I need to be more attentive to finding these signs?

I have not always been a "good" girl.  I have not always been a "bad" girl.  I believe I am a mixture of both good and evil.  I would really like to be more good than evil.  I have been tried too many times to test my good.  I have failed many times.

November 7, 2010

(I usually only write about a subject, but due to lack of time, I've decided to journal a little.)

Last night we went to the annual Fireman's Dance.  I wasn't really prepared on what to wear.  I wanted to wear jeans.  I spent about 5 minutes pulling on a short sleeved green sweater and a pair of black slacks.  Of course, I spent an hour and half on my hair and makeup! We went to a pre-dance party at one of the fireman's house.  When we arrived all the wives were wearing black with sparkly jewels.  I felt a little under dressed.  All the skinny minnies were wearing leggings with thigh-high boots.  I'm pretty sure all of them picked out their clothes the day or week before.  Oh, well.  I pretty much stood out just for not wearing black!

People started drinking at the pre-party.  I was drinking Coors Light because my usual wine would be like $4.00 a glass at the dance, and would be very cheap wine that would cost $3.00 a bottle.  This was a night to let loose for many.  Some drank a little more than others.  Getting a buzz made for interesting dance moves on the dance floor, which included a lot of grinding and sticking your ass out!  There was a circle where someone would get in the middle and do something fun.  It made a fun and interesting night.  We had a really good time.

The band was local.  They played two sets, and were going to play a third due to Daylight Savings time.  We were all partied out at midnight, which was really 1:00 am.  The next big fireman event will be the Christmas party.  Last year it was at the winery.  Hopefully it will be there again this year.  We almost didn't go to the dance at all.  We were suppose to go to a wedding, but those plans fell through due to the step-mother of the bride, my friend, leaving her husband weeks before the wedding.  Wow does she have some good timing!  It would have been very awkward still going to the wedding and her not being there.  If feel a little bad for totally blowing it off though.  Hopefully we weren't missed.

Can't Find Time to Blog Anymore!

I have grown an addiction to playing The Price is Right on Facebook.  Not good!  Spending my time blogging would be much better use of my time!  My kids both have laptops and now we are all always on the computer, with the exception of my husband.  He only gets on to check his email or our checking account.  He thinks we are all addicts.  He's probably right.  It's hard to remember life before Facebook.  How did we communicate with all of our friends before?  Phone?  Email? Face to face conversation?

My husband believes that our kids don't know how to communicate face to face with people because of Facebook.  He believes they don't have any social skills.  Mostly it's my son.  He hardly ever goes out with his friends.  He is always home on the computer.  I don't really believe though that if we took the computer away that he would go out more and do things. Well, at least he's not getting into trouble this way.

Do You Believe in Ghosts?

Halloween.  What scares you?  Do you believe in the Big Bad Wolf? Do you believe in Ghosts?  What does Halloween mean to you?


Halloween to me is more than Trick or Treating.  It's All Hallows Eve, the night that spirits both good and evil are allowed through to our world.  Kids wear costumes today because the evil spirits disguised themselves.  Watching scary movies and being scared makes Halloween fun!  I would love to go to a real live haunted house.  Not the make-believe haunted houses that kids go to, but one really possessed by ghosts or spirits.  I have a friend who is a member of a paranormal team.  I would love to go with her an investigate a house! 


I have lived in houses where I heard noises.  When I grew up my room had the attic door located within it.  I always heard strange noises up there.  I always believed that another family lived up there, hiding.  Even in the house we live in now I've heard things and seen things.  I've heard huge crashing noises when there was nothing that crashed or broke.  I've seen a towel swing back and forth on the shower curtain pole without there being any wind.  I've seen a huge paw print on the bathroom window.  Someone actually died of a heart attack in our bathroom, so I believe there are spirits here.  One day I was down our basement and saw our dog come down the stairs.  When I was going back up stairs I called for him, and he was already upstairs!  That really freaked the hell out of me!  Lately, for a while now, there hasn't been anything that has happened.  The last thing that happened was about a year ago when I was dusting in our living room.  I picked up a water glass and there underneath it was a perfect smiley face!  I took a photo, so I have proof!




Perfect smiley face in water found under a water glass.  No joke!

I swear I did not create this watermark.  I don't think anyone could.  I don't know if it was a sign from God saying "Have a great day!" Or maybe, it was a sign from a spirit, a friendly spirit.  Either way, I guess I was meant to find it.  I wish I could have kept it!


There was another photo I wish I knew where it was, and I may have it somewhere.  It was a photo of my daughter Elle.   She was named after me, Dawn Ellen, and my great grandmother, Ella.  In the photo of Elle, it turned out sort of double exposed.  You see, there was also a photo of my great grandma in the photo with her.  Weird, because my grandma Ella died when I was 11 years old.  I'm going to look for this photo and if I find it, I will post it.


I hope you all don't think I'm a freak!  I'm just unique!  Growing up I've also participated in seances.  My friend Deanna, who lived above a funeral home, had a slumber party in the funeral parlour, where they hold the funerals.  We played "As light as a feather, as stiff as a board" and tried to levitate someone.  My friend's family had their washer and dryer in the basement by the embalming room.  When the dryer went off it played "How Dry I Am"!  How weird is that!  When I was in college there was an ice storm and my friends and I played with a Ouija Board that night.  It spelled the name of a child from Alexandria, Minnesota who had died.  That was quite freaky!


No matter what you believe, have a great Halloween everyone!  Don't let the ghosts or goblins get you!

Changing It Up A Bit

Tisdale Wines California

Every weekend I buy a bottle of wine.  I have been buying either Merlot, Shiraz or Cabernet Sauvignon.  I bought red rose recently and really loved it.  Then I tried to go back to Merlot, but it didn't taste so good anymore.  Today I bought White Zinfandel that has watermelon and strawberry flavors in it.  It is also a great change.  I feel guilty spending only $3.46 for a bottle of wine, but that is what Tinsdale wine from California costs in Iowa.  I find that really hard to believe.  It's like the price of a box of crackers.  I really don't think that the higher the price, the better the wine.  I've had the more expensive wine.  The one that really stood out was called Cupcake wine.  It was very strong in flavor and color.  It was supposed to have chocolate flavoring in it.  I never tasted the chocolate, but the more I drank, the better it tasted!  lol!

I dream of traveling to California and touring the wineries.  Hopefully someday soon my husband and I will make it out there.  He actually has a sister who lives in Napa.  How ironic is that?  She has brought us bottles of wine from there when she has visited us.  I love all the California wines.  Maybe I should open a wine shop.  Good idea, I'd probably drink all the wine!

We actually have a winery in Carroll, Iowa.  It's called Santa Maria.  The grapes are grown in Wiley, Iowa, a teeny tiny town about 15 minutes away.  They have very good wine.  The winery is beautiful.  It has two large ballroom where people have work parties and wedding receptions.  They also have a restaurant that has very good food.  It is a very good asset to the town.

I have started a wine glass collection.  My newest one is very large and tall.  The cup part is clear glass and the stem is painted with gold.  I bought it for 50 cents at a local thrift store.  I actually own real Waterford crystal champagne flutes.  They were a Christmas gift at a company where I worked one year.  They are beautiful.  Each one was $50.  I am afraid to touch them because I don't want to break them.  I used to drink martinis and my friend gave me a very unique martini glass for my birthday one year.  It is painted with a tiger print and has a martini recipe on the bottom.  Maybe someday I'll drink wine out of it.



Newest addition to wine glass collection with Cupcake in the background

Waterford Crystal Champagne Flutes with one of my favoriate wines - Blackstone Merlot

Leopard print martini glass



Leopartotini recepie



Two more favorite wine glasses

I lucked out this weekend.  My local grocery store was having a Fire Sale on their wines.  I got pinot grigio for $3.00 and merlot for $5.00.   I am hoping they have some left for me to buy this weekend!  Love, love, love bargains!  I just signed up to be in a wine club so I can find out when their wine tastings are.  I'm excited about it!

Good Days

I'm not sure what has changed, but I'm not so stressed out these days.  I think it has to do with having the weekend off and having yesterday off.  A day off really helps you make it through the week less stressed out!  I just worked from 9:30 am to about 10:00 pm, and I was ok with it.  In the past I have actually broken down and cried before I had to go to work.  Especially at night or on a weekend when my family is home and I couldn't be with them.  I would just have an anxiety attack.

I have changed my thinking.  I'm not going to let work rule me, I'm going to rule it.  I am asking for days off.  I'm not going to be a freaking slave to the job.  I need a life outside of having 3 jobs.  I know, it's about time I figured this out!  Working a 41 1/2 hour work week just at Hy-Vee really did it for me.  With that and 10 hours at my other two jobs, that was 61 hours!  OMG!  No wonder I made so much money, but at what cost?  We all love to bitch until we see the paycheck, huh?