Tonight my husband and I took our 14-year-old son to registration for his freshman year of high school next year. Afterwards it hit me like a ton of bricks! My baby is going to be a freshman in high school! Our older daughter will be a senior next year. This makes me very sad. My babies have grown so fast. I wonder where all the time went? It just flew by! Realizing that half your life is over and you only have half left to live, is a very hard thing. My husband is going to be 45 in July and I will be 43 in July, our birthdays are two weeks apart.
I don't feel deep down in my soul like I am a middle-aged woman! I feel very young on the inside! Sometimes I need to be reminded of my age! I related to younger people very well. On the outside I need a lot of improvement. I gained a lot of weight after getting married and having babies. I lost it all once, in about 2002, for a class reunion. As soon as it was over, however, I went back to my old ways. I really want to workout more to get back in shape. My problem with that is that I work 3 part-time jobs, and work nights, weekends, days, whenever. In some ways, I know I use this as an excuse. Hopefully starting tomorrow I can get back into it. Get with it!
I also need to really figure out where I am going with my career/job. I don't want to continue to work 3 jobs. I am seriously considering going back to school very soon. I'm not really sure for what though. I am afraid that I will go back and get a degree in something else and still not be able to find a good job. I currently have two BAs, journalism and English. I'm thinking of going back for teaching English. I think I would enjoy this. I'm thinking this would take at least two years. I feel like I'm running out of time. My daughter will be starting college in a year, and I may be in college at the same time!
When we are young we romanticize about what our life will be when we are older. Nowhere in there did I work 3 jobs! TV and magazines really give a false interpretation of what life really is like. I am a small town Iowa girl who grew up on a farm. Sometimes I think location, location, location! What would my life be like if I grew up in a major city like New York? Then maybe I would work for a magazine or a publishing company. In Iowa, I could have worked for a small town newspaper where I wouldn't get paid very much. We lived in Denver for about 3 years. The closest I got to a writing career was working as a secretary in an advertising department for a business newspaper, The Denver Business Journal. After our daughter was born we decided the city was not for us and we moved back to Iowa. I suppose really that I never tried to find a writing job in Iowa. I sort of just fell into being a secretary, having an English degree. I was a secretary for about 18 years. The last two years I have worked part-time in customer service at a grocery store, part-time at GNC as a sales associate, and part-time as a merchandiser for Nabisco cookies and crackers.
Something does need to be said for living in Iowa. I believe our ethics and beliefs are also stronger. We were raised well. We are glad to be raising our children in small town Iowa. I'm sure they will spread their wings and explore the city at some point in their lives. But I am also sure they will return to Iowa.
The future is the future and what will be will be. :)
Peace & Love
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